What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What! how could you do that?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Why am I more attracted to black men?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Do you know what she said mum?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

True - how I loved my mum!

What is the kinkiest thing you and your sex partner have done in bed?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Is Matt Gaetz qualified to be Attorney General of the United States?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What do you mean son?

What might be the social consequences of an ethnic as opposed to a civic conception of the nation?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”